literature

Loki and Laufey.

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Literature Text

    Loki took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation. But he was older now, stronger and she had no power over him any more. She couldn't kick him out again. He had a home now, a place he belonged, even a family. He didn't need her any more.

     His hand rested on the handle of the door. He hesitated, then shook himself. “I am Loki, I don't hesitate I just plunge in a do the stupid thing.” he told himself. But still he didn't open the door. He hadn't spoken to his mother in years. But he needed to now, he needed to know if she could help him find his brothers.

     His father had taken them away when he was young and years later he still missed them. Especially now with Mimir dead, Hoenir imprisoned and Odin ignoring him. "I don't get nervous." He muttered, trying to convince himself. It had been so long since he had been uncertain of anything and suddenly he didn't feel like himself any more.

    Loki hated this strange new uncertainty. Being himself was all he had and he wasn't going to let anything stop him being who he was. He opened the door and marched into the hall as if he owned the place.

    His mother had moved a few times since he had left her but the Hall still reminded him of his childhood home. He shuddered slightly at the memory. Then he pulled himself together. “Laufey.” He called. A door opened and his mother emerged from a chamber.

     She didn't look particularly surprised to see him. She just looked tired and frustrated. “Hello Loki.” She said in a resigned tone.

“Mother.” Replied Loki stiffly. “I did not come here to see you. I have a question.” Laufey sighed.

“I know you didn't come to see me, I have met you. What do you want from me now?” She said simply.

Loki frowned. “I never wanted anything from you. You provided me with food and water, nothing else.” Laufey sighed heavily again.

“Regardless of what you think, Loki, I did love you. But you never made it easy. Tell me, what do you want now?” She said.

“Do you know where Farbauti is, where my brothers are?” Demanded Loki.

“Do you think I would still be apart from them if I did? The moment you left I would have joined them.” Replied Laufey.

    Loki gave her a thoughtful look. “You are right I should have known you wouldn't know. If you had known where they were you would have left me sooner and gone to be with them. I know you loved my brothers more than me.”

“Of course I loved them more than you.” She said. The words hurt but Loki hid it well. “They didn't play tricks on me, they didn't set out to make my life miserable.” She pointed out coldly.

“I was just a child.” Replied Loki sharply.

    “You were a monster. That what you always were and will always be. You aren't capable of love, you never were. They loved me. But I had to stay because some one had to stay. I chose you because you needed someone. I lost my family so I could look after you.”

“You didn't chose me, father left you.” Replied Loki venomously. “And I can love. I love my brothers, I loved my blood-brothers.” Spat Loki angrily. The accusation cut to the core of him.

    “You don't love the way other people love. You love only when it suits you only when it is to your advantage.” She answered.

“That’s a lie.” Muttered Loki softly.

“Oh, tell me then, now he has abandoned you do you still love Odin?” She asked.

“Of course not. He left me. Why should I care about people that hurt me? That would only cause me pain.” Replied Loki.

“That's not how love works. When you truly love some one it doesn't matter how much they hurt you. You still love them.” Said Laufey.

    “That's foolish.” Said Loki. “Why should I let anyone hurt me?” He asked.

“And that is what is wrong with you. You are broken little boy.” Answered Laufey harshly. Loki realised he was shaking slightly from suppressed emotion and fury.

“I'm not a little boy any more.” He shouted.

    His whole childhood he had been mocked and teased for being so small for a jotun. Even now when someone made a comment on his height, Loki would act un-bothered but then find a particularly cruel trick to play on them. He was just a little short even for an Aesir but for a jotun he was tiny.

     “You are nothing but a lonely spiteful old woman who never cared about the only son unlucky enough to be stuck with her.” Yelled Loki. He turned and marched out of the hall slamming the door behind him.

    Once outside Loki took deep calming breaths. He had intended to ask more questions. There was still a chance she might know something about where Farbauti could have gone. She would at least know where Loki could find Farbauti's parents who might know something. But Loki couldn't face her again.

    There was a painful ache in his chest as he realised he really would never see his brothers again. He thought of the suddenly distant Odin. The ache worsened. He did still care about his blood-brother, whatever he had told his mother. But he pushed the feeling down. He refused to admit to himself that he loved anyone who brought him pain.

    Loki looked around at the land of his childhood. He thought of all he had lost. A tear trickled down his cheek. He wiped it away angrily. “I don't need any of them, I don't need anyone. I am Loki.” He declared. And began to plot his next trick. He usual wicked grin spread across his face as he contemplated the trouble he could cause.

This is horrible why did I write this? I'm sorry Loki. :hug:
I just wanted to show Loki's emotional depth since outside of inaccurate films Loki never seems all that emotional. My version of Loki is generally pretty cheery but he is a complicated character. His tricks and bad behaviour keep him amused and that combined with a fair amount of wilful denial allows him to enjoy his life, which has been quite incredibly harsh. It's not massively emotionally healthy but none of the norse gods are and it works for him. He survives and he has fun even as his world burns round him.
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Taina-dOS's avatar
Oh Loki.... :( He should not be so proud..... And Laufey should not be so..... Ugh!!!!! :rage: